Disappointment?

I was asked the other day how hard it is to get over the disappointment of loosing a match in competition.

If my primary motivation were to never loose, I would be devastated and it would crush me. However, this is not my motivation to compete.

My goal, from the first day I stepped foot into my school, has been to challenge myself. I want to see what I can do when I push myself. The only time I am disappointed is if I give up.

I have done it. I’m not proud of that, but I have given up in the middle of a match before.

In the last year, I have been finding my backbone. My mantra before I step on the mats has been “No matter what, I will not quit.” – it seems to be working!

On to Worlds now!

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Brain? Check! Body? Not So Much

I have finally managed to nail down the exact reason for the anxiety I have been having during competitions this year! You know that feeling you get when you almost crash your car and die? I live in that “jolt” for every tournament – for a week or two before the tournament even. Yea… I know I need to chill.

Then, of course, I get into this lovely spiral of stressing over the fact that I can’t relax. Sounds really productive huh?

This is not normal for me. I’m usually the one who bounces through the day letting everything roll off my back. Hakuna Matata anyone? The last time I felt like that though was at the European Championship in January. What was my secret?

I’m a goofball.

That wasn’t a joke – that’s seriously the root of the problem. I’m a huge goofball but ever since competing at the European Championship I’ve been trying to take everything so seriously. Without my goofball antics to keep me out of my own head, I just ferment inside like a pressure cooker until the stress becomes debilitating.

I thought I should be more serious if I’m going to be a serious competitor… Forget that! I put this to the test for the last 2 tournaments and the results are in!

Chicago Open:
I wasn’t even sure if I was going to compete or not at this one. I tore a muscle in my right forearm that week and hadn’t been able to really use it much in class. I was working at this tournament and had already booked the hotel so I went anyhow. I got to wear one of the black shirts and work at the podium, as well as occasionally helping out with the inexperienced ring coordinators. Good times!

About 10 mins before my division was to be called, I decided to just go for it – and I had no time to freak out, I’d been busy all day! Ended up taking gold in my division and bronze in the open. My bracket for the open was really weird. There were 5 of us, and I had the extra match – so three on my side, two on the other. I won my first match then learned that a girl on the other side of the bracket had to bow out, giving her opponent a straight shot into the finals. I fought the second girl on my side of the bracket lost by advantage.

So since there were only 4 of us, I got third place alongside the gal I beat in my first match. Confused? I was. Also, the lady who got the straight shot into the finals was team mates with the one I lost my second match to – and she made her bow out to her in the finals… So she got the gold without a single match. That was a sucky messed up draw methinks. Oh well! Apparently once the bracket is drawn up and printed, the officials can only cross names off and aren’t allowed to move things around. For gold I’d have had to beat 3 fresh opponents in a 4 person division. Would have been pretty cool though!

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Synopsis: Being unable to post with my right arm made me give up two sweep points in the open which I lost on (annoying!) but with no time to fester and freak out, so it was the most relaxed I remember being at a tournament in quite a while!

Abu Dhabi Pro Trials
I stayed with a friend in Brooklyn the day before competing and he is the one who helped me pinpoint my mental problem. I was wigging out so badly the day before competing (my bday no less!). He got me out of my head enough for me to finally realize how badly I was festering in there. For the rest of the day and into the next I was in fine form, just being a nut – and had no stress.

My brain was finally balanced for the tournament, but unfortunately, my body wasn’t quite there. While applying a choke in my first match, my arm tore more… A truly unpleasant sensation for sure! I froze and she passed my guard. I put up a fight the best I could but every nerve ending was on fire and my right arm was completely useless. So I lost on points. Sucked because she told me afterward that the choke was very tight – too bad my arm couldn’t have waited a few more seconds!

Anyhow, it’s still just a muscle tear and the doc says it should heal with a week of rest. Feels kinda weird, I didn’t go to the gym at all yesterday… I just read in bed all day. Today is the same thing. I’ll have to go in tomorrow since I have massage clients – but no training until Monday. Then I’ll have a week to take off my Gi and get my flow for No Gi Worlds. Yay!

Pan Ams and Team Changes

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So… maybe I should give up on being consistent with this?

Anyhow, I competed at the IBJJF Chicago Open and managed to win gold – subbing all my opponents. It was a bit of an adventure, which I shall now elaborate on.

My first opponent seemed to be a bit larger than me – I wondered if I was in the correct bracket! I tapped her with an armbar from guard, which was the first time I’ve ever done that!

Second match was a very tall girl – kind of like Steven – just very long. Had a really good battle with her and finally ended with a bow/arrow choke variation.

After that, I was in the finals. And here comes the adventure….

I was very lightheaded after that second match and couldn’t even hold myself up, had to hang onto the partition to stay upright. My pulse was racing so badly and I remember telling coach I was about to pass out. He asked me if I wanted to call it, or if I’d be ok to continue. I told him “I’ll just finish really fast and probably collapse afterward.”

I willed myself to stay upright when I was called to the mat and I ended her with a triangle in mount. I could tell I was about to go out, but managed to stay upright just long enough for my hand to be raised. Then I collapsed.

I don’t think I actually blacked out, I just couldn’t stay up any longer. The medics came over and when I couldn’t even hold myself in a sitting position they called the paramedics. Turns out I was having a pretty severe irregular heart beat so I was carted off on the stretcher and hooked up to a heart monitor for about an hour until I stabilized.

We narrowed it down to my electrolytes being out of wack. Once they got a couple of bottles of watered down gatorade into me, i was all good. So from now on, always gonna take pedialite with me to tournaments!

All this was less than 2 weeks from Pan Ams!

Skipping to Pan Ams…

I figured after doing Europe by myself, Pan Ams would be a breeze since I’d have my team mates with me. It was so much easier mentally!

I had 17 in my division, so 4 matches to win. My first match I won with a guillotine choke at right past the 1 min mark.

Second match I went against a feisty, slightly older woman. I guess she would have been in a masters bracket, but there wasn’t anyone else in that division . She gave me some trouble with passing her guard. I ended up going all Kenny on her – standing knee on chest guard pass. I got an Americana from side control locked in, but she wasn’t tapping, so I cranked it… Found out later that I actually broke her radius and ulna! Didn’t know that at the time so I just moved on to my next match.

I didn’t get much rest time before my next match. My opponent’s coach was a ref and has apparently competed against my coach before. So no pressure right?

She was good at avoiding my sweeps for sure, but I managed to lock in an armbar from guard. She tapped and I started to let go, but the ref didn’t see, so she started fighting again. Thankfully I still had it and rolled belly down to finish (again).

After that, the mat coordinator informed me that I had won 1st place. I was severely confused as I was sure I had 4 matches. At any rate, I changed into another Gi and decided to hang until I was called either to the mat or the podium.

45 mins later it was back to the mat. We went the full time and I ended up losing 3 advantage points to 4. My team mates say I legitimately won the match because I didn’t get points for an omoplata sweep, but whatever. I haven’t seen the video yet, and all I know is this: I did some good Jiu Jitsu and am proud of myself. Neither of us were able to stand afterward – wish we lived closer to one another so we could train together occasionally!

She got her blue belt on the podium so I won’t get a re-match at Worlds in May. Kinda bummed about that, but I’ll catch her next year!

——————————————–

The Jiu Jitsu community has been buzzing about the Lloyd Irvin cataclysm. I’m so sad over the whole thing – my coach has been under Master Lloyd since he was a blue belt, but we had to break away when it looked like we were gonna lose our affiliate schools.

Chicago was my last tournament under TLI. Pan Ams I was under TAC Team (Jared Weiner).

Honestly, I believe innocent until proven guilty and there is so much dirt chucking and heresay… this is the story I’m sticking with:

There will never be another TLI organization. What he has done for the Jiu Jitsu community will never be replicated. When I was in Europe, the team welcomed me with open arms just like family – and I still consider them as such. My school separating from the team was simply a business decision – not an act of condemnation.

That said – no matter how the storm settles, I’m gonna just keep on doing Jiu Jitsu. I honestly don’t care about team organizations, all the politics, and whose refs are screwing who – I’m here for the love of Jiu Jitsu. I’m not going anywhere!

European Opens 2013 Results

First match!
First match!

I’m feeling egocentric at the moment, so I’m gonna dive right into how I did. There were 16 women in my division, so I was thrilled to death that I’d have 4 fights to gold – the more the merrier right? I had a good amount of jitters, but I sat back in the bullpen reciting my mantra to myself until I was focused.

1st match:

Pulled guard and worked my tripod sweep. I then passed to side control. She rolled into me and I circled around, thinking of taking her back – almost diving in a reverse triangle. I was a bit too slow though and she stood up so I had to pull and sweep again. This time I pulled Kenny’s favorite “shin on biceps” trick and then kimura’ed her from side control. It was a fun match!

2nd match:

All i can say is “wow!” I didn’t feel overly threatened, but man did she wear me out! We spent the entire match with her trying to pass my guard and myself trying to sweep and shoot triangles at her. Man, am I glad for those training sessions with the kids – teaching me how to move and re-guard quickly! I started to feel a bit tired but then noticed she was breathing harder, and that bolstered my confidence. It ended up going to a ref decision since neither of us scored at all. I remember thinking to myself “What? All that and no points? Please pick me!” And he did!

3rd match (semi-finals):

I immediately pulled full guard and we spent most of our time there. I immediately started working my cross choke in on her, and instead of defending she started trying to choke me from my guard. I remember thinking “Really???” She was trying to force it without either grips deep enough so it didn’t really bug me. She finally started defending her neck and trying to break my guard. When she reached back to try to grab my leg behind her, I caught her in a triangle. The rest is history.

4th match (finals):

I made a huge mistake here. I watched the girl compete on her side of the semi-finals, and became more concerned with avoiding her game, than implementing mine. So I came out a lot less aggressively than i should have. She pulled guard first, passed, and spent the rest of the round in mount on me. I’m irritated with myself for the mental break, but I’ll do better next time!

Silver Medal Baby!

 So I ended up with the silver medal! I was really hoping I would earn gold, but hey, it’s a pretty decent start! I really wish I could do the open and have more matches, but that will have to wait until I get my blue belt. All good things…

I really am proud of myself for coming out here to compete in my first big boy tournament. It has been an amazing time so far just getting to be immersed in this big melting pot of languages and cultures. I don’t even know how many countries and languages were represented, but we all had something in common.

I was hoping to update this more regularly while I am in Lisbon, but the wi-fi was acting up at my hotel. I’ve moved to a different one for the next few days, and it’s working now! It is fairly late (or early) here, so I’m going to sleep. I don’t head back to the states until Wednesday evening so I’m hoping to visit some Jiu Jitsu schools while I’m over here!

Off to Europe!

Well I’m sitting at my gate in the Nashville airport. I’ve got about 90 minutes to kill so I figured now is a good time to put in an overdue update!

I competed 2 weeks ago in my first submission only tournament. Won my division and had a total of 4 fights – not too shabby! I made a mistake in the open finals and lost to an armbar from guard. I stood when I should have stacked… Not gonna do that again!

The last month has been some pretty high intensity training! I feel ready to do this! Had a private lesson with my coach yesterday morning and he ran me through my game plan. I love drilling! It’s what makes a move look effortless!

Flight Plan:
I’m flying from Nashville to New York. I’ll be changing to an Italian airline there and flying to Milan after a 3 hour layover. That 3 hours will probably be just enough time to make my gate by boarding call. I’ll have to change terminals, check in at the front, and go through security again.

I’ll arrive in Milan at about 9:00 am local time. I have a 9 hour layover (by design!) So I’m gonna take a train into town and walk around. I’m good on weight so I’m gonna allow myself some gelato!

From Milan, I fly on (yet another) airline to Lisbon. I’ll arrive close to 8:00 pm (or 20:00) and am gonna try to figure out how to get to my hotel by bus instead of taxi. I’ve got maps of where I need to be – so it’ll be an adventure!

I’m sharing a hotel room with another Lloyd Irvin team member. We will both be competing the day after we arrive. My division isn’t scheduled until about 3:30 – she’s before noon I think.

I’ve been awake all night. My way to combat jet lag is to stay awake the night before, and sleep on the plane. I wake up when we land and then stay up until nightfall. Works every time!

Due to my sleep deprived condition, I’m gonna stop now before this turns into a never-ending ramble of magnificent proportions!

Hello Everyone! 21 Days!

I finally got all of my competition videos uploaded to my youtube account. I keep them unlisted, but here is one from the most recent tournament I competed in. There were no other girls so I fought with the boys.

This was the finals match. He was very strong and had a great base! We wore each other out!

In case you didn’t guess, I’m the one in purple.

Until now, I have been writing this blog, for the most part, in secret. However, the cat is out of the bag now as I have made it known to several of my team mates. So… Hi guys! Hope you enjoy reading about yourselves!

There is only three weeks left until I leave for Portugal! I should be excited, but I think I’m too focused right now to feel excitement. I’ll have a week there after competing during which I can be excited.

2013 Goals & Long Overdue Update

I have been updating this using an app on my phone, but just discovered it has magically not been updating when I thought it was. So now to condense the last 3 months of events into one post!

Major Updates:

I won double gold at the Bluegrass BJJ Open. I made quick work of my opponents in my division and then had an all out war in the absolute division finals. I ended up winning by 2 points that I was awarded for a sweep i executed in the first 30 seconds of the match. The rest of the time was spent with her trying (and very nearly succeeding!) in passing my guard. I have fought her before and we love seeing each other at tournaments – just exchange nods before, and hugs after.

My gym hosted a tournament and we had a great turnout! No girls, so I fought with the boys. I won 1st place in gi, and 3rd in no gi. It was great to see respect (and a little fear) in the guys eyes!

I’ve also teamed up with a brand new fight wear company based out of the UK. It is Raijin Fight Wear and I’ll be wearing their gear in tournaments! Yay! I’m currently waiting for them to send me their prototype.

I got my neck sprained in the process of one of the no gi matches. It put me out of training for a few weeks, and out of the next two NAGA tournaments I was going to compete in! Yea, I was a bit irritated. Oh well!

2013 European Opens:

In my irritated state of sitting out, I decided: “forget NAGA, I wanna go to Europe!” Coach gave me the nod, and 3 weeks later, I was registered and had a plane ticket! I’ll be leaving for Portugal on January 22, arriving the 23rd, and competing on the 24th. I’m so excited!

Coach has had me on a strict diet of training with purple belts and up only for the last month since he doesn’t want me getting any more boo boos before Europe. In the last week I have started rolling with blue belts again, and I am giving them quite a bit of trouble! Coach told me that my technique is getting good enough that he has to use a bit of weight to get through my guard now, and my top game is starting to gel.

I’ll be the only person from my school going to Europe, although I’ll be able to meet up with the rest of the Lloyd Irvin crew once I arrive. It’s gonna be a blast!

2013 Tournament Hit List:

European Opens

Pan-Ams

World Championships

If I do well at Worlds… I’m considering Pan-Asia as well. That’d be a trick of financing however – one step at a time!

Flying Armbars

Coach has started a new thing where we have a move of the month, of which we are to drill at least 1,500 reps of for that month. This month it is the X-pass from de la riva. So far I’ve done about 800 in the last 10 days. I can only do it to one side right now because one left knee is a bit weird, so I feel like my left quad and butt cheek are getting a massive advantage over my right. At any rate, lots of drilling at the beginning of the 10 am and the 5 pm class. I’m starting to do the move in my sleep!

Got some good roll time in today. Started off drilling with our black belt “Steve”, but he got stolen when we switched to roll time. Can’t begrudge it since coach is getting ready for senior/masters worlds next month, and is needing good rolling partners.

I wasn’t neglected however! I can’t remember my first rounds, were overshadowed by my last. Coach threw our brown belt ninja, BT, at me. He’s about my size and has a way of getting armbars from any angle you put yourself in. Last week he got my arms twice before telling me to keep my elbows in. I remembered, and was able to defend this time. The whole round was an exercise in defending – and a very good exercise indeed!

After that, I went to unhook coach’s baby from his car seat – he was a bit unhappy with being ignored during class. So he got a little baby massage during the last round.

I skipped 11:30 class since they had even numbers of big, new white belts. Not a good mix for me.

I went to whole foods and discovered that the vega one protein powder I like was on sale for almost 20 bucks off a large tub. Yay!!! So, of course, I bought two and informed my vegan team mates of the event. Whoot!

Class was great at 5. I got 70 more reps of the x-pass in before rolling started. Unfortunately, coach split me from my drilling partner so I had to sit a round. We had two other girls in class so he told me to grab one of them next. 8 minute rounds, with one minute to switch, and stare down your next opponent.

The newer girl (need to remember her name!) snagged me. She’s a tough, strong little thing! She’s really starting to move a lot better now! I got to work just technique for that round, which was really nice!

Went with the other girl, our other Nicole, next. Eddie Bravo would have been proud of the stoner control and electric collar I put on her. Nice to know it works! She was really going after my guard tonight, working me really hard! Awesome!

Next up was one of our junior black belts. The kid is half my size, but man is he tough! We stood for a while, playing with grips, and then he throws a flying armbar attempt at me. Probably would have worked if I wasn’t taller than him! He’s fast, has amazing technique, and was really going after me today. Tough kid! Breezed past my guard several times, and nearly had me several times!

I was with our new girl again for the last round. She is getting pretty good and shrimping out of mount, and if I relax for any amount of time, she’ll go after a triangle or omoplata. Can’t wait to see her compete!

That was it for class, and I had a massage booked for 6:30, and so ends the training day. Begin again tomorrow!

Broken Bones & Gold Medals

On The Podium

On The Podium

Well, tournament was a blast! Ended up riding down with 4 of the guys (felt like such a player!) Good news is that it really saved a lot, splitting gas and hotel 4 ways. Bad news is that I had to listen to some pretty disgusting rap all the way there. Even I have my limit, and 4 hours of “whores and booze” music was it. Ha!

We arrived at about 11 pm. I took the couch and quickly passed out while the guys figured out who was spooning who.

I rolled over at 4 am when one of our guys got up to use the downstairs cardio equipment to lose his last few pounds. I passed out again and woke up at 6:30 to my alarm. My weight was good so I went downstairs for breakfast while the guys sat in the improvised sauna they made in the bathroom. Great eats! Oatmeal with fruit and nuts – and they had pineapple! Yay!!!

Every girl’s worst nightmare happened. I then discovered that my menstrual cycle decided to start that morning. And, of course, my brand new gi is blinding white! Good thing I brought black compression shorts!

We got to the venue at 8 – first division started at 9. Steven went to weigh himself and found he was still a pound over so he went out to jog. Got himself down to just right by the test scale then we all hovered to wait.

Turned out, the official scale weighed him a pound over – so instant DQ. He was severely pissed – as was my coach when I told him.

Next up was our purple belt Derick. He dropped about 20 pounds for this – and got down to 5 percent body fat. He only had two people in his division – and it was painful to watch both his matches. He says he learned a lot though! And he then gained 12 pounds in the next 24 hours.

Jason was up next in the blue belt masters division. He hadn’t competed in 2 years, and pulled his groin last week. He put up a good fight but lost both matches as well.

Our ultra-heavy blue belt also lost both matches, as did our big brown belt – both from an affiliate school.

So basically, the guys just circled up, and informed me it was up to me now. No pressure!

In the meantime, I’d been running around introducing myself to everyone with a Lloyd Irvin jacket, shirt, or patch. Think I scared a few of them until I told them I train with Shawn Hammonds – then it was welcome pats on the back.

Got to meet Master Lloyd finally. He makes me think of a big huge teddy bear – very nice – but I know he has claws and teeth in there!

My Matches:
I went two rounds. Tapped the first girl with an Ezekiel choke from mount. I like to put my feet on the hips when in high mount – works really well, but she bridged and my foot slid under her and she landed on my big toe. Hurt pretty bad – but I didn’t yell, just made a really ugly face (see pic below. Doc says 75 percent chance of a break)

Second round was the finals. Tough lady! Managed to sweep her twice and get mount each time, but ended up winning on points. She wore my grips out pretty well!

The ride back was long. The guys only listened to rap halfway before diving into their individual headphones. Got to sleep around 11.

I was a bit disappointed about only having 4 girls in my division. I told coach I’ll definitely drop to penna for Pan Ams – so I can have more rounds. He said I’ll probably have about 25 girls for that, and to not forget about Worlds in June. I said “right! Worlds! Sure!” – no pressure right? I’d better adjust my budget again… This is getting expensive!

That brings me back to training so far this week.

I didn’t roll too much on monday – toe slightly purple and all, but I just couldn’t quite stay off the mats. Came in, watched at 10, then did a massage during the 11:30 class. Then I went to work.

Tuesday was a bit more hands on. I rolled a bit at 10 – really went after it, then took class at 11:30 as well. We drilled working the mousetrap series, then sparred a bit. I went with Javi (purple neutron star) – he said he would only defend. Made me work! Love it!

After that I rolled with one of our pro fighters, Luke. He’s a solid wrestler for sure, but I’ve got a black belt in wiggle – so good match!

I ended rolling with Omar (purple spider). I got a good rolling lecture from him about always turning to face him if I’m in side control. After class he pulled me aside and put me through a few drills of frame, bridge into him, hip out, reguard, etc. Much needed. Gotta love the basics!

I scarfed down some black beans with salsa during no gi class. Then I drilled some more with Omar. He was trying to teach me a berimbola back take – apparently the inversion is the hard part, which I do easily. The kick is where I had trouble. Several of the guys were circled up trying to instruct me through it, so I kept at it. Honestly, I’d rather drill our de la riva x-pass. Don’t see myself really using that back take on a regular basis, although it is really cool looking and fun when you do it right.

That is all. Tomorrow is another day!

Dun dun DUN!

Dun dun DUN!

Training Like Mad

Lightweight World Champion?

Lightweight World Champion?

Man this has been a mad crazy training week! 8 min rounds and all!

Today is my last heavy hitting training day before the tournament on Saturday. I’m starting off with a private lesson with my coach – he’s gonna iron out the wrinkles in my game plan.

There were supposed to be 6 of us going, but I’ve determined this tournament to be cursed. Our two top guys are notorious procrastinators and did not get registered in time – they closed registration a day early and I could just pinch their heads. One of the guys popped something really badly in his knee last week, and another one pulled his groin. So that leaves myself and doc purple belt as the healthy ones going. The broken members are still competing – it’s a mixture of stupidity and drive. We’re all a bit like that I’m afraid.

Well, hopefully I’ll avoid getting injured pre-tournament as well! Off I go!