Coach's Killer

Into The Storm, and Out Again

August 15, 2016Leave a comment

Competitions are a roller coaster.

Even before the actual event, emotions tend to just go crazy. Everyone deals with the pressure in their own way. I tend to get easily frustrated and usually have at least one big hysterical crying fit about a week before a major event. I know some people who get angry, others who act like they are in the middle of a bipolar manic phase, and some who just get very serious and turn inwards (those are the scariest ones!)

Playing the numbers, the vast majority of people at an event will leave with a measure of disappointment. Only one person can win each division.

At the World Championships this year, once again I fell short. Even months later, it still stings. Everything I have learned in the years since I first stepped on the mat, and it just wasn’t enough. Quite frankly, it put me in a major funk. Throw some family and personal crisises into the mix, and I just hit a wall of what I could emotionally handle – I just shut down. It was a pretty bad downward spiral.

My biggest issue I finally realized was that I wasn’t allowing myself to properly process everything. Here are a few things I learned in this process:

It’s okay to get angry/frustrated/upset when something doesn’t go the way I planned
I’m stronger than I think
My environment is not to blame for my outcomes
There is nothing to be ashamed of when I do my best
The people who care about me, will celebrate with me in success, but that doesn’t determine my personal value
I’m not alone

So what has changed? Really, not much. All the problems are still present. However, my head is back on straight and I feel like I am finally awake, can see in color again, and am finally able to look forward to the exciting things I have planned!

In just 10 days I will be heading off to Las Vegas to compete at the Master World Championships. Two weeks after that, I will watching the sunrise from the top of Mt Fuji and then competing in Tokyo before setting off on a two week tour of travel, training, and exploring in Japan, Taiwan, and South Korea.

One thing I can say for certain. After failing 4 times at the World Championships, when I do finally succeed, I think that I will appreciate it much more than I would have if I won the first time around. Building anticipation and all.

Now that I think I have gotten out of my phase of depressive writing (there are so many things in my draft folder that I don’t think need to see the light of day), I think I will be able to get back to my normal writing jive – just in time for the trips!

I am looking for an individual or company to sponsor my Mt Fuji climb. I am an experienced climber and will be video documenting the 2 day climb to the summit at 12,334ish feet above sea level. I’m doing it with or without support, but it would make it easier if I could rent gear instead of having to haul mine and then drag it around for the rest of my two week trip. Contact Me if you might be interested!

Exhibit “A”

July 4, 2016Leave a comment

I hope everyone in the U.S.A. has a good and safe Independence Day!

My gym is officially closed today, but it’s quite handy to have a key. I upped my water intake to two gallons yesterday and have been doing my fasted cardio every morning. I both love it and hate it. I fly out in just about 9 days to see my family in New Hampshire before we all head down to the New York Open competition – so I’ve gotta make sure I have some wiggle room in my weight since my access to gym facilities will be limited during my time with the family. (Worth It!)

My one of my best friends invited me to his rooftop firework viewing party tonight. I’m going to put on my normal person disguise and go have a bit of fun. I am so saturated every day in training that sometimes it is quite refreshing to have a few hours away from everyone I am usually around every day. Granted, I sometimes end up being the group exhibit whenever I am around people who don’t train!

It is rather funny actually. Usually it will start with an introduction like this “This is my friend Nicholle. She is amazing, does martial arts, and can kick your ass!” After that, things go one of two ways. The people become rather stiff and awkward, or they happen to be mma/martial arts fans themselves and then the discussions take off. My friend who invited me to the party tonight happens to be the type who can make anyone feel comfortable with anything (it is seriously a gift I envy!) so I predict smooth sailing tonight!

Time Flies, and So Do I!

July 1, 2016Leave a comment

In just a little over a week, I will be taking off for yet another adventure!

New York Open

I will be leaving on the 13th of July for New Hampshire where I will spend a few days with my family before we all make a trip down to New York on the 15th so they can cheer me on while I compete in the IBJJF New York Gi and No Gi Open Championship. The last time they saw me compete was in the 2104 Boston Open. They will drive back to New Hampshire after the competition, and I will be boarding a bus to Washington D.C. to get a week of training in with my TLI team mates. I will take a bus back up to New York to fly back home to Nashville on Saturday the 23rd.

After that, I will have almost 5 weeks back home in Nashville before the Master World Championships in Vegas.

Master World Championship

Dante posed with a lot of statues last year in Vegas

This trip took a bit of figuring in order to make the budget work. Since to date of this writing, the tournament schedule is very broad and is listing blue belts as competing any one of the three days of the event. I could have gotten an amazing deal on a flight in and out of Las Vegas, but I would have to fly back home the morning of day 3 at the event (possibly missing my matches altogether!) – and the price doubled to fly out the day after the event.

So, long story short, I am flying in and out of Los Angeles. I will get into Los Angeles the day before the competition begins, and then take an overnight bus to Vegas. I will reverse the process in order to catch my return flight back home. The bus was just $5 each way, and also saves me two extra nights in a hotel – I sleep pretty well in transit as long as I have my memory foam neck pillow.

I booked my hotel through my airline. It is less than a mile from the venue and was 50% off – making the price comparable to the airbnb options I saw nearby, plus I earn air miles. All together, I managed to cut my original budget projections in half, which is why the trip is doable. Added bonus, my hotel has an indoor roller coaster for the win!

Asian Open Championship

I was going to skip the Master World Championship because it is just three weeks before I leave to compete in Japan.

I will be leaving Nashville on September 6th with an overnight stop in Los Angeles before continuing straight to Tokyo from there on the 7th. I will arrive on the 8th and the competition is the 10th and 11th. I did not have any problems really with jet lag last year on the way there (the way back was HORRIBLE), so I am trying to cut short the amount of time I have to wait before competing.

Meiji Shrine - Main Tori Gate — Meiji Shrine – Main Tori Gate

If I am competing on the second day of the competition, as I was last year, then I will be setting out to climb Mt Fuji on the 9th. I have to squeeze it in beforehand because the last day of climbing season is the 10th of September. It is a non-technical climb that really just consists of an uphill hike with rapidly thinning atmosphere. (I have climbed mountains before and know what to expect) My plan is to climb partway up on the 9th and then catch some sleep in a mountain hut and strike out in time to catch the sunrise from the summit on the 10th. I would then have time to climb down and make my way back to Tokyo in time to rest and get some sleep before competing the next day. Granted, the trail dates all depend on the weather, so I am trying to keep my options open. If I compete on the first day… well that just gives me (another) excuse to come back to Japan again!

After the excitement of competition and Fuji-san, I will have a week and a half left to spend in Japan. I plan to train while I am out there, as well as visit Kyoto. Beyond that, I’m still making plans! A trip to Korea is possible as there are some pretty cheap flights available. I will be flying back home on the 22nd of September, and will likely start planning my next trip on the ride home.

And Then

I won’t be making it to No Gi Pans this year since it will be held the week after I get back from Japan. Experience has taught me that the week after getting back, I will be completely useless as a human being – thanks to adjusting to the 14 hour rewind. I want to go to No Gi Worlds, but we shall see how much I manage to stress the budget while in Japan.

Granted, after all that flying, I should have earned enough miles for a free flight to L.A. by then… so maybe No Gi Worlds would be possible after all?

The Agony of Decisions

June 26, 2016June 26, 2016Leave a comment

I have been tossing around the idea of whether or not I should compete at the Master World Championships in Vegas this year. I decided to use a pros vs. cons list to make my decision.

Cons:

It is three weeks before I go to Japan to compete
I haven’t worked out all my expenses for Japan yet
I injured my knee pretty badly last year there and it still gives me trouble
It’s going to be extremely hot, like, miserable
The schedule is currently a big blob of jelly where blue belts are concerned
It’s one more thing on my plate to try to budget and organize for
I just really don’t appreciate/like Vegas (don’t drink or gamble, what else is there to do?)

Pros:

It’s the Master World Championships

I guess that settles it. I’m going to the Master World Championships.

What’s In A Team?

June 22, 2016June 22, 2016Leave a comment

I was never much of a team sport player during my growing up years. I was just your classic socially awkward, coke bottle glasses wearing nerd. I found that when I was working on projects in school, being in a group would take twice as long to turn out an inferior product as if I were to do the work on my own.

So I stopped trying to be part of a group.

If I was forced into a group, I would just find a shadow to hide in and do whatever grunt work was tossed at me as I attempted to ignore all the inefficient processes going on around me.

I never really “got” what being a team member was all about.

Until Jiu Jitsu

I was used to doing everything on my own. Maybe the Aspergers had something to do with my inability to connect with others, but I found that working inside my own little bubble of systems was too efficient to make expansion worth the effort.

There is only so much Jiu Jitsu you can do by yourself. I woke up one day, and found that I had somehow managed to integrate myself into a real team – without even realizing it was happening! There was a two part pivotal moment that made me a believer.

My coach (a new concept as well!), decided to teach me how to do a few moves from spider guard. He told me that most people start out working in closed guard, but that he thought I would be able to make good use of the position. I practiced the moves, all the while thinking “This is silly. I will never use this.”
My first competition a couple weeks later. It was a crazy whirlwind, but I fell back on the move that I thought I would never use, and it worked. My first competition submission was a triangle choke, set up from spider guard. I won 3rd place that day.

Going out to eat (buffet!) with the rest of the team after that competition, for the first time in a long while, I felt like a contributing member of a team. I have come to understand quite a few things in the last several years because of this.

There is a limit to what I can achieve as an individual.
- No matter what the field is, I have limits of knowledge and ability. However, with good team mates, we help each other beyond what our own individual limits are. Together, we are more.
On a good team, everyone has the same or similar goals.
- In my school, some are there to get/stay in shape, some are just having fun, some are hobbyist competitors, some are serious competitors. However, our base goal is all the same: to improve our Jiu Jitsu.
It’s okay to feel like the weak link on a team.
- I was the weak link when I first started out, and some days I still am. However, I came to realize that if I am the lamest duck on the mats, I can only improve from that point. It means I have effectively surrounded myself with people who are more successful that I am. That mojo is gonna rub off, and I’ll be there to collect it!
I have a responsibility
- Just as I find myself bolstered where I hit my limits, I have a responsibility to my team mates to help them when they hit their own limits. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses within a team – but as a team, we fill in the gaps for one another and it becomes one amazing impregnable force!

Conclusion

Jiu Jitsu has been a major touchstone in my life. This is just one of the aspects in which it has affected my world view. How has Jiu Jitsu affected your life? Please share!

For more information on spectrum disorders and BJJ, I wrote much more detail in an earlier post “Jiu Jitsu and Aspergers Part 1“.

The Brain Stew

June 15, 2016Leave a comment

I have been doing a lot of planning and organizing this past week. Here is a collection of the things floating through my brain.

I am 28 days out from leaving again to go see my family and compete in the New York Gi and No Gi Championship.
Booked my plane tickets (thank you air miles!)
Not registered yet as I need to do a few more massages in order to get the funds.
Haven’t seen my family in quite a while, so I am REALLY looking forward to seeing them, and to have them cheer me on at the competition.
It is far too easy now to drink a gallon of water a day.
Dad is planning to book a room at the same hotel he stayed in for one of his Ironman races – he said it was really nice, reasonably priced, and near the metro (a rare combo in NYC!)
I plan to take a bus (or hitch a ride) from NY down to DC after competing and spend the week training with my Team Lloyd Irvin crew. I’ve got a lot to work on before Worlds next year!
The plan is to spend a week out of each month training at TLI in Maryland. While home in Nashville, I will be practicing whatever assignments I am given. If I can’t afford a plane ticket, an overnight bus ticket will do.
I’ve started a free weights training program – focusing on low rep, high weight, and explosive movements. Right now I’m using my own bodyweight loaded on the bar, but I want to work up to double my body weight.
The Asian Championships are about three months away. I would like to do feather weight this time around, but we shall see. I purchased the plane ticket in January when there was a fare sale that was too good to pass up.
After the NY Open in July, I will not likely be competing until the Asian Open – as I need to make sure I have all the rest of the expenses for that trip covered. I can make it on $600 (lodging, event registration, food, transportation), but would rather not have to be on a super tight budget for the entire two weeks in Japan.
I will be climbing Mt. Fuji – most likely the day after I arrive in Japan. I can’t really wait until later since climbing season ends a couple days after I arrive.

So yea, kind of random, but that is everything my brain is processing today.

The Challenge Is The Goal

June 12, 2016June 12, 2016Leave a comment

I taught myself to play classical piano pieces by skipping the early level primers and diving straight into the complex pieces that moved and inspired me to learn. My crowning achievement was to learn the entire, unabridged, Sonata Pathetique mv2 by Beethoven.

I learned this from memory, measure by measure, over the course of months. Months of spending 6+ hours a day plugging away at the keyboard. I exaggerate not. I was working a night shift at the time and would take a nap when I got home and then spent the entire afternoon and evening trying to conquer this one piece. People thought I had talent when they heard the results. My only real talent is my mile wide stubborn streak.

If I want to do something, I can guarantee that I will do it. It may take a while, but in the end, you will be fooled into thinking I have actual talent.

So yes, it is a setback that I once again failed to place at the Jiu Jitsu World Championships. I missed out on the podium by one match. However, I’m just on the first page of the Sonata. I’ve still got more movements, key changes, time signature changes… I haven’t even hit the “Forte” parts yet! This is just the intro, and I’m not quitting until the whole thing is complete.

Then, I’ll pick a whole new piece to learn.

Excited/Terrified: The Thin, Fine Line

May 30, 20162 Comments

I just saw the bracket for my division at the World Championships.

It added a whole new layer of realness to the past year of training and sacrifices. It just suddenly hit me.

The World Championships are this week.

Yes, I’ve know all year what I have been preparing myself for – ever since I lost the quarter finals last year by an advantage point. I got back home with the focus to correct my mistakes and win this time around.

I realized when I saw that bracket, that the feeling in my gut has been the same since I first started competing. It has been something I fight to control – the nerves.

Competition Jitters

I had debilitating competition nerves for the first few years I competed. My heart would start racing and I would have to puke if I ever just THOUGHT about an upcoming event – weeks in advance!

There was a phase where I would just immerse myself in watching a new anime series or reading science textbooks (nerd alert!) in order to keep my mind off th upcoming competition. I would have to take (probably unsafe doses of) sleeping meds in order to get to sleep at night in the weeks leading up to an event. Let’s just say, it was bad.

Then I found that if I just acted like a goofball through the whole process, it would relieve my nerves. The right music at the right time became key as well. I could listen to southern gospel, Andrea Bocelli, Broadway musicals, marching cadences, rock, and motivational speeches – depending on if I needed to chill out or hype up.

Goofball could only take me so far though.

At the end of last year, my coaches talked with one another and determined that I was too unfocused on my matches and needed to be more mentally present with the intent to win.

The Balance

To me, the psychological effects of being nervous, are almost identical to being extremely excited. What makes the difference is my perspective and how I handle the feelings.

Trying to not feel any nerves made me lose my focus and intensity. This year I have made the determination to not consider nerves to be a bad thing, but a necessary tool to keep me sharp. It has been paying off.

So bring on the World Championship! I will be fighting on mat 3 on Friday, the 50th match. I’ve never been more ready, and I am pumped!

Atlanta Pro Ladies Divisions

April 23, 2016Leave a comment

This coming Friday, I will finish off my last evening at my job and will likely get home at around 11 pm. I will be leaving for Atlanta at around 3:00 am saturday morning, so hopefully I can get at least a couple hours worth of sleep!

The IBJJF Atlanta Pro competition starts at around 9 am next Saturday, but I need to be there at 8 because I will be working at the event. Not only will I be competing for a $400 cash prize, I will also get to collect a small paycheck at the end of the day. Receiving a paycheck makes the entire trip tax deductible as a business expense. Yay!

There is a much smaller turn out for this event than I was anticipating. Registration is now closed and I only have a division of 6, with 28 blue belt ladies total with 21 possible to enter the open division. So that comes down to 2-3 matches in my weight class, and 4-5 possible in the open weight class.

There needs to be a minimum of 4 competitors in order for the division cash prize to be awarded. There are exactly 4 black belt ladies signed up – there were just three a few days ago so I am very glad to have seen another jump on board!

The Black Belt Breakdown

Six prizes totaling $20,000 spread across four weight classes is allocated for the men, and one open division prize of $1,500 is offered for the ladies. If you look at the registration list and do some fun division, you can see the value of each person in each cash division if the winners hypothetically decided to share the prize money equally among all the competitors in their division:

Black Belt Male Feather Weight:

8 Competitors – Two cash prizes = $5,000
$5,000/8 Competitors = $625/Competitor

Black Belt Male Middle Weight:

6 Competitors – Two cash Prizes = $5,000
$5,000/6 Competitors = $833.34/Competitor

Black Belt Male Heavy Weight:

6 Competitors – Two cash prizes = $5,000
$5,000/6 Competitors = $833.34/Competitor

Black Belt Male Super Heavy Weight:

8 Competitors – Two cash prizes = $5,000
$5,000/8 Competitors = $625/Competitor

Black Belt Female Open Weight Class

4 Competitors – One cash prize = $1,500
$1,500/4 Competitors = $375/Competitor

What Does It Mean?

There are enough black belt ladies now to have a good turn out at one of these pro competitions. However, why would any of them ever want to sign up for and travel to an event when they can wait for the event within driving distance of home? The mens division prizes are definitely much more likely to incite someone to travel from the opposite coastline, and even internationally.

Rough cost break down per competitor who would travel to an event:

Plane ticket: $300

Hotel for two nights: $150

Rental Car: $50

Registration Fees: $130

Food and incidentals: $50

So that is roughly $680 out of pocket, before even stepping on the competition mat. Not counting possible lost income from having to be away from work, paying for childcare, etc. If I was choosing between traveling for the chance at $1,500 – fighting in an open weight division, I would definitely hesitate – especially if I had the option of other events within driving distance.

Competing in a weight class, even for a reduced prize money amount would be much more enticing to the female competitor. The IBJJF stipulates that there must be 4 competitors registered for a division in order for any cash prizes to be awarded, so if they happen to have a poor turn out, they still have that option to fall back on.

I would wager that weight class prizes, even if they just split the open weight class into two divisions, would make these events look MUCH more enticing to a female competitor who is planning out her competition schedule for the year.

Here are some more numbers I put together for the event.

One lady next saturday will win 2 matches, and go home with 1,500.

Four men next saturday will win 2-3 matches, and go home with 1,000 each.

Four men next saturday will win 3-4 matches, and go home with 5,000 each.

My Conclusion:

I didn’t even cover the colored belt divisions for the men and women. I’m kind of whatever about that, but the black belt ladies have put in their time and deserve a better opportunity.

I’m not angry and feeling the need to boycott the event. It is just a four hour driving distance from Nashville, I get good matches, and is worth it for me to make the trip to compete. Plus my entry fee feeds the machine and will help to get the coffers full enough that the organization will feel it can start offering better cash prizes for the ladies.

I would like to see them do an experiment for just one pro event: offering an equal cash prize for the ladies and the men. If it flopped, it would shut up all the people nagging them. If it did well, they would know that it could work. I for one would definitely make a point of traveling to support that competition.

I’m excited at how the ladies divisions have been growing in the past few years and look forward to the future! It will take time – but things have been changing a lot, even since I started training. It is all thanks to the ladies who have paved the road before us and we owe them big time!

Planning for Japan

April 21, 2016April 21, 2016Leave a comment

I know that I still have a while to wait (141 days!), but I like to plan ahead for my international trips. I will be leaving on September 6th for Tokyo, Japan and will be arriving in the afternoon of the 8th. So far, I have only booked the plane tickets but I have a lot of plans that I just haven’t solidified quite yet.

I hit a fare sale back in January and got my round trip airfare for about 2/3 the cost of my ticket last year. Granted, last year instead of paying out the cash for the ticket, one of my regular massage clients bartered with me for the airmiles. He and his wife are covered for the next years worth of massages, and I got a ticket to Japan – fare trade!

I will be staying overnight in Los Angeles on the 6th and will likely find a place to train that evening. If any bjj people have a spare couch or tatami, give me a holler!

Settling In:

I will most likely stay at the same guesthouse as I did last visit. The location was extremely convenient, good wifi connection, free tea/coffee/miso soup, and an on site onsen (bath house) – all for just about $20 per night.

I will arrive the day before the competition begins, so I will likely just collapse as soon as I arrive and wake up early the next morning. The 14 hour time difference is killer, but I adjusted pretty easily last visit with just a solid 12 hour sleep right off of the plane.

The Competition:

Last year, I competed on the second day of the event, but I popped by the venue in order to get my bearings, check my weight, and make sure I wouldn’t get lost. It was a little confusing making sure I got to the proper place since if you look it up online, it can lead you to the Nihon Budokan in Chiyoda, about a 30-45 minute train ride from the actual venue location. What you need to get to is the Tokyo Budokan in Ayase as shown below.

The venue is about a 8-10 minute walk from the Ayase train stop and is really quite easy to recognize.

One really nice thing about this venue, is that you don’t have to worry about people running into the bathroom without shoes on – since everyone takes their shoes off at the entrance. There are special slippers in the bathrooms that you will put on at the door before you go in to take care of your nervous pees and colon purges.
You can also

press a button in each stall to play sound effects to cover the noise you would otherwise be making.

This is a Martial Arts specific venue. Expect to see people in Aikido and Japanese Jiu Jitsu uniform wandering around to check out what we are doing. There are vending machines with all kind of drinks – although I was desperate for just regular water and couldn’t seem to find it. There are no concessions stands, although there are many places to grab a bite to eat in the surrounding neighborhood. I opted for a bento meal from a convenience store.

Most of the announcements were done in English, although plenty of Portuguese was spoken as well as Japanese. I did discover upon checking in that they DO require females to wear a rash guard – which I understand based on what I know of the Japanese culture. It did put me into a minor panic since I was close on my weight (thank you bento box), but I was able to quickly purchase the smallest, lightest rashguard I could find, and I made weight.

Those are the only real differences in the competition that I could note as compared with the other events I have been to. I found, as a whole, the Japanese approach to Jiu Jitsu to be very precise and methodical.

Climbing Fujisama:

After I compete, I am planning an overnight climb of Mt. Fuji. The climbing season has not yet been set, but last year it extended for a few days after the competition.

I have not yet decided if I will do this on my own, or do it with a group. It would be more convenient with a group since all my expenses would be included and the entire thing would already be organized. However, it would cost a lot less to do it on my own. Still working on that.

If I go with a group, the first day we would go from Tokyo by coach to the base of the Mountian and then climb to the 7th station where we would then sleep for a few hours and adjust to the altitude. We would then start off late at night for the summit and reach the top in time for sunrise. After the hike back down, we would relax at the hot springs for a few hours before catching the coach back to Tokyo.

Korea?:

I realized recently, that Korea is only a couple hours from Tokyo by plane. Since I’m already that close, I figure I might as well hop a quick flight and see a whole new culture for a few days! I haven’t researched much so far since this is a new idea in my head, but I definitely want to make it happen. I want to eat some good food and train with some new BJJ people!

Kyoto:

I was extremely saddened last year that I wasn’t able to budget for a trip to Kyoto during my time in Japan. This time, I am for sure going to make it down – at least for a day trip! The Inari Shrine has been on my bucket list since before my trip last year!

Sumo:

Last year, I was able to attend a Sumo National Championship tournament. It was absolutely thrilling! It will be going on once again during this visit and I am trying to figure out how to get some really good seats. Last year I went with a tour group and we had bleacher seats, but
this time I want to be up close to the action! As far as I can find though, it looks like I need a Japanese address in order to buy tickets. I’ll buy from the tour again if I need to, but I would much rather pay for a good seat. If anyone in Japan happens to be reading this and wants to help me order, I would buy your ticket as well!

Exploration:

All that I have listed already would most likely be in my first week there. Then I will have a whole week left in order to explore, eat, and visit every Jiu Jitsu school I can find! I will also remember to bring a white Gi this time so I can train at the Kodokan.

I end this with a bunch of random photos from last years trip. Enjoy!