I Need To Paint My Ceiling

I’ve had plenty of time to think these last couple days of staring at the ceiling. What I’ve been asking myself is, why am I doing this?

Do I have something to prove? Am I just a glutton for punishment? Is this just me looking for attention? What is my purpose in beating myself up like this?

Then I stopped myself. I realized, I’m just trying to answer everyone else’s questions. People seem to think that getting an injury will “snap me out of it”. Like I’m off on a mad, foolish quest – and I’ll figure it out eventually.

I can’t wait to get back on the mats! I love my team, I love my coaches, and I love to kick butt!

See, I’ve accomplished a lot in my life so far. Everything I’ve ever tried to do – I’ve done it. But I’ve never really thrown everything I have at something. I’ve always given it just enough effort to make it “above average”. When I knew I could have done better.

I’ve been curious to see what I could do if I gave something 100 percent. And I’ve chosen Jiu Jitsu for that experiment. Why? Because it seems to have no limits for what you can learn. And it’s awesome fun!

So let’s see where this takes me shall we?

And now for something (somewhat) completely different:

I think I’m healing pretty quickly. X-rays on wed showed a pretty wide crack halfway through my right 10th rib. I’ve been taking some prescription strength anti-inflammatories since then.

As of Friday morning, I could sit up fairly easily from lying down. On Saturday I found I can get in and out of the car fairly normally. It hasn’t been outright painful since thursday night. It’s more uncomfortable/annoying – like someone keeps poking me with a broomstick.

I have been getting short of breath easily – have to take more breaths when talking. Wearing a bra is a pain as well (more so than usual that is). My only other complaint is not being able to sleep on my side. Sucks!

I’m wondering if I actually broke it a while back. The doc I went to said something about how my flinching when applied pressure told him it was probably broken even before he did the x-ray. I’d been flinching like that for about a week. It might be that I broke it a while ago, and the hit I took on wed just pushed my body over the edge. In sparring on tues, it was so painful I hollered a few times and it limited my movements.

This could also explain why it seems to be healing faster than I was told it would.

We shall see.

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