Category: Musings

My Weight Class Journey

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I remember when I first started training Jiu Jitsu. It was toward the end of January so everyone was thinking about Pan Ams and weight cuts. At that time, I was thinking everyone was crazy, and that I’d never do that.

My perspective has changed over the years. In my eyes, the purpose of weight classes are to try to eliminate the size factor so that it is an equal footing test of skill. If skill is matched, size will win. This is why it’s always a huge deal if someone from the middle to low end of the weight classes manages to win the open weight class. Their skill level was high enough that day to overcome the size differences.

So how does someone determine which weight class they should be competing at? I think it’s a process of experimenting to find where you feel strongest. 

I’ve competed from 125 up to 155 and have found my sweet spot right around 135. When I’m not competing, my weight naturally stabilizes at around 142 – so with extra cardio and clean eating I can make 135 within a couple of weeks.

I can make 125 with a very tight regimen of cardio training, long sparring sessions, and calorie restriction. I did it twice in one year for Pans and Worlds. It is an achievable division for me, but only if I’m able to take 6 weeks off from work to focus on the process. I’ve been having to adult a lot the past few years and have not been able to have another go at it. Maybe this next year it will be possible?

I competed my first year as a purple belt at 145. Lots of reasons why there, and I determined that it is a reasonable division for me. It’s not ideal since I was at the low end of the weight class and I could feel the strength differential.

155… I just had no business in that weight class.
Weight Cuts and Aging:

As I get older, it has become more difficult to maintain a lower walking weight. I find myself having to pay more attention to my normal eating habits, change up my cardiovascular routine, and spend more time on recovery and prehab exercises.

In the golden days of my youth, all I had to do was cut out pasta for a week in order to make 135. Now I actually have to do a structured meal and conditioning plan in order to make the same weight. I like to blame having more muscle mass now than when I first started but let’s face it. I hit 30 and my metabolism did a “whoa Nelly” on me.

I wonder sometimes if I might eventually shift up to the higher weight class – but I am resisting that option. It’s just gonna take a little more dedication and focus on my part, and that’s a good thing!

In Closing:

Weight classes are an integral part of Jiu Jitsu competition. But they are just one factor of the whole. I’ve known many people who focused so hard on making a weight class that it was a detriment to their technique and mental training. I’ve also known people who have completely neglected maintaining a healthy weight and ended up in unbalanced match ups that should not have occurred outside of the open weight division. By “known people” I refer to myself. Balance is key.

Team Training, Pans, and Abu Dhabi

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This weekend we had our annual team training session! Hundreds of people were in attendance, 40-something black belts, and 30+ women!

Ladies Crew
With Omar Post-Promotion
With Ann-Marie Burnitt
The highlight of the day for me, was getting to see my friend Omar receive his black belt. I’ve learned a lot of my guard game from him over the years and he has been sneaking his training in around med school.

During the rolling portion of the day, I spent most of the time sparring with our out-of-state black belts and then getting attacked by our kids. Little flying squirrels of fury! It’s great being a part of the group! Team training also marks one year since I was given my purple belt by coach!

The Pans Championship is just around the corner and I am very excited to be going out there once again! I’ve had to change up my diet the past few weeks in order to work my way back down to the light weight division. I spent the last year in the middle weight division but I am ready to be light again. The Abu Dhabi World Pro is coming up as well, and I registered for the 62 kg division. I found a super good deal for a flight to Dubai and will be able to purchase it once my income tax rebate comes through.

The Training/Work

Currently what I am doing is heading to the gym early, getting an extra hour of drilling work or cardio in before taking our morning training class. After class I have about 10 minutes to get off the mat and on my way to work. I work the afternoon and get off just in time for the evening sparring class. I have also started helping out with the intro class held just after the sparring class. The intro class is very good because when I’m asked questions, it forces me think about the principles behind the movements.

After this week is over, my hours are dropping substantially at work. I am not looking forward to the drop in pay, but on the bright side, I will have all day Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday to get extra training sessions in. I have started teaching private lessons periodically as well, so that will leave more time to expand my availability for that!

The Musings

My instructor has told me that, at this point in my Jiu Jitsu journey, I have a solid foundation of basics without too many gaping holes in my game. Now it’s just a matter of practice, fine tuning, and mat time. Taking that to heart, I have been observing my own rolling sessions in the gym. Winning in the gym isn’t the goal – betterment is. So I am watching my training partners to see what they are doing that is giving me trouble. If I know what it is they are doing to shut down my game, I should be able to figure out how to adjust for it. If I can’t figure it out, I bring the problem to my instructor and he shows me a simple adjustment that fixes it.

That being said, I’m ready to bring on the competition. What I have to do is take what I have been doing and learning, light the fire under it, and bring the heat.

Upcoming Events

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Well first off, Merry Christmas to all! And if you aren’t the Christmas type, I hope you had a good day off from work!
The gyms were all closed yesterday, so I went to see the new Star Wars movie again with a team mate. Today it is back to the grind! BJJ gym is still closed today, but I am meeting up my regular drilling partner before heading off to my shift at work. Gotta get those reps in!
The current attack plan for the first few months of 2018 is:

January 15-22 – European Championships in Lisbon, Portugal.

I can only afford to be there for the days that I could possibly compete. Gotta get back to work by the 21st. At least jet lag doesn’t exist to me anymore for a Europe trip (after a few trips to Asia).

February 3 – Atlanta International Open

This is an easy day trip for my crew since it is only a 3ish hour drive from Nashville. I’ve kept my one day off from work as a Saturday – so I can make it easily to these day trip events without having to barter time off from work… I’ll be doing plenty of that already this year.

February 17 – Team Shawn Hammonds Team Training

One of the funnest events of the year! Last february we had over 30 black belts on the mat and so many people that it was just wonderful chaos! I was promoted to purple belt at the 2017 team training and I look forward to seeing all the promotions this next year!

February 24 – Mexico City International Open Gi and No Gi

Past experience has taught me that I need to arrive several days early in Mexico City – in order to adjust to the altitude. I haven’t worked out a flight yet, but it is on! Barring work putting their foot down (I have a pretty flexible job).

My concern here is whether there will be any purple belt ladies competing here or not. But I think it will work out! Plus it will be great to see friends again!

March 7-11 – Pan Championships in California

I’m waiting on the preliminary schedule to be released before I start thinking about booking a flight. Gotta go out there, smash, and then get back to work.

Since I am a part timer at work, I’m fairly flexible with time off. I just have to at least make an effort to find someone to cover my shift and I’m good to go. I’ll be making trips as short as possible though because I do need a cash flow to make all this happen. It’s a balancing act that I think I have finally gotten worked out!

I will hear from the Japanese Embassy in a few weeks about my application. But I’m not gonna just sit on my hands in the meanwhile! Gotta keep moving and trying to be a little bit better every day! (Except for yesterday… yesterday I ate half a pie)

New Routine

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The past few months now I have finally gotten something I have wanted for years: a self-motivated drilling partner who is enthusiastic about getting up early for an hour or so of extra work on the mats before morning class!
So every morning, we get in at least an hour of work -focusing mainly on transitional movements. It has been paying off since he went from silver and bronze at a local event to gold at the IBJJF Cincinnati Open. I managed a bronze in the open and got an “attagirl” from coach. I don’t think coach has ever seen me work a passing game at an event before, but he said I looked really smooth. I even got compliments from other girls coaches for fluidity in transitions. So… gonna keep at the morning drills!

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My current daily routine consists of a 6 am wake up, drilling starting at 8:30, sparring class at 10:30, and work from 1-5. I can fit an evening training session in periodically but I find with the early morning wake up (gotta take the bus from across town), I get pretty wore out by the time I’m off work. When I get closer to events I push through for several nights a week, but when I’m not feeling the pressure of a looming events I just go home and get some sleep. Yea, im getting old; ready for bed by 9 now.

I competed in the Asian Championships this year as a middle weight and brought home a silver medal. I felt really good and strong at that weight – without sacrificing speed. I am contemplating continuing the next competition season at middle. Plus is that I get to compete at a very natural weight for myself – where I’m usually training at. Down side: no abs… but aesthetics have never been a huge deal for me. I’d rather be strong and enjoying my Olympic lifts. Can’t do those and make light anymore!

There is the very real possibility that I might move to Japan for a couple years starting this summer. I received a very strong recommendation for an exchange program and will hear back from the embassy in a few weeks. The final decision if I am offered a spot on the program would depend on location in Japan – whether there is a good Jiu Jitsu academy nearby for me to train at. There are so many factors at play that I haven’t even shared much about this option publicly. All I can say is that I will be giving this next competition season everything I have. It’s scary, but it is good to have options! One thing that will never change is that through all of it I will eventually earn my black belt from my instructor Shawn Hammonds.

Well that’s it for my “sitting at the bus depot downtown” update. Maybe I’ll come up with something more eloquent later?​

The Countdown is On

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I have been pacing a lot today.

My packing and planning skills have left me with nothing to do today since everything is packed, everything is planned and printed off, I’m checked in for my flight tomorrow morning… So now I am making up things to do.

Currently I am letting a fresh batch of henna soak into my hair. It was just done a week ago, but I’ll take all the extra shininess I can get right now! Dante has been bathed and I am waiting for him to get picked up by the family watching him while I am gone. Hopefully after he gets picked up I will be heading over to a team mates house for a funky hairdo special just for this trip – I have no idea how it will look, but she has skills so I am going to trust her!

Tomorrow is going to be quite full! Flying to L.A., stopping by a shop to hopefully find a specific Gi, then heading over to train at New Breed Academy before checking into my airbnb place for the night. Flying to Tokyo Wednesday morning!

I will share the outcome tomorrow evening of all these pending events. For now, here is an applicable awesome song!

Into The Storm, and Out Again

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Competitions are a roller coaster.

Even before the actual event, emotions tend to just go crazy. Everyone deals with the pressure in their own way. I tend to get easily frustrated and usually have at least one big hysterical crying fit about a week before a major event. I know some people who get angry, others who act like they are in the middle of a bipolar manic phase, and some who just get very serious and turn inwards (those are the scariest ones!)

Playing the numbers, the vast majority of people at an event will leave with a measure of disappointment. Only one person can win each division.

At the World Championships this year, once again I fell short. Even months later, it still stings. Everything I have learned in the years since I first stepped on the mat, and it just wasn’t enough. Quite frankly, it put me in a major funk. Throw some family and personal crisises into the mix, and I just hit a wall of what I could emotionally handle – I just shut down. It was a pretty bad downward spiral.

My biggest issue I finally realized was that I wasn’t allowing myself to properly process everything. Here are a few things I learned in this process:

  • It’s okay to get angry/frustrated/upset when something doesn’t go the way I planned
  • I’m stronger than I think
  • My environment is not to blame for my outcomes
  • There is nothing to be ashamed of when I do my best
  • The people who care about me, will celebrate with me in success, but that doesn’t determine my personal value
  • I’m not alone

So what has changed? Really, not much. All the problems are still present. However, my head is back on straight and I feel like I am finally awake, can see in color again, and am finally able to look forward to the exciting things I have planned!

In just 10 days I will be heading off to Las Vegas to compete at the Master World Championships. Two weeks after that, I will watching the sunrise from the top of Mt Fuji and then competing in Tokyo before setting off on a two week tour of travel, training, and exploring in Japan, Taiwan, and South Korea.

One thing I can say for certain. After failing 4 times at the World Championships, when I do finally succeed, I think that I will appreciate it much more than I would have if I won the first time around. Building anticipation and all.

Now that I think I have gotten out of my phase of depressive writing (there are so many things in my draft folder that I don’t think need to see the light of day), I think I will be able to get back to my normal writing jive – just in time for the trips!

I am looking for an individual or company to sponsor my Mt Fuji climb. I am an experienced climber and will be video documenting the 2 day climb to the summit at 12,334ish feet above sea level. I’m doing it with or without support, but it would make it easier if I could rent gear instead of having to haul mine and then drag it around for the rest of my two week trip. Contact Me if you might be interested!

What’s In A Team?

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I was never much of a team sport player during my growing up years. I was just your classic socially awkward, coke bottle glasses wearing nerd. I found that when I was working on projects in school, being in a group would take twice as long to turn out an inferior product as if I were to do the work on my own.

So I stopped trying to be part of a group.

If I was forced into a group, I would just find a shadow to hide in and do whatever grunt work was tossed at me as I attempted to ignore all the inefficient processes going on around me.

I never really “got” what being a team member was all about.

Until Jiu Jitsu

I was used to doing everything on my own. Maybe the Aspergers had something to do with my inability to connect with others, but I found that working inside my own little bubble of systems was too efficient to make expansion worth the effort.

There is only so much Jiu Jitsu you can do by yourself. I woke up one day, and found that I had somehow managed to integrate myself into a real team – without even realizing it was happening! There was a two part pivotal moment that made me a believer.

  1. My coach (a new concept as well!), decided to teach me how to do a few moves from spider guard. He told me that most people start out working in closed guard, but that he thought I would be able to make good use of the position. I practiced the moves, all the while thinking “This is silly. I will never use this.”
  2. My first competition a couple weeks later. It was a crazy whirlwind, but I fell back on the move that I thought I would never use, and it worked. My first competition submission was a triangle choke, set up from spider guard. I won 3rd place that day.

Going out to eat (buffet!) with the rest of the team after that competition, for the first time in a long while, I felt like a contributing member of a team. I have come to understand quite a few things in the last several years because of this.

  • There is a limit to what I can achieve as an individual.
    • No matter what the field is, I have limits of knowledge and ability. However, with good team mates, we help each other beyond what our own individual limits are. Together, we are more.
  • On a good team, everyone has the same or similar goals.
    • In my school, some are there to get/stay in shape, some are just having fun, some are hobbyist competitors, some are serious competitors. However, our base goal is all the same: to improve our Jiu Jitsu.
  • It’s okay to feel like the weak link on a team.
    • I was the weak link when I first started out, and some days I still am. However, I came to realize that if I am the lamest duck on the mats, I can only improve from that point. It means I have effectively surrounded myself with people who are more successful that I am. That mojo is gonna rub off, and I’ll be there to collect it!
  • I have a responsibility
    • Just as I find myself bolstered where I hit my limits, I have a responsibility to my team mates to help them when they hit their own limits. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses within a team – but as a team, we fill in the gaps for one another and it becomes one amazing impregnable force!

Conclusion

Jiu Jitsu has been a major touchstone in my life. This is just one of the aspects in which it has affected my world view. How has Jiu Jitsu affected your life? Please share!

For more information on spectrum disorders and BJJ, I wrote much more detail in an earlier post “Jiu Jitsu and Aspergers Part 1“.

The Brain Stew

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I have been doing a lot of planning and organizing this past week. Here is a collection of the things floating through my brain.

  • I am 28 days out from leaving again to go see my family and compete in the New York Gi and No Gi Championship.
  • Booked my plane tickets (thank you air miles!)
  • Not registered yet as I need to do a few more massages in order to get the funds.
  • Haven’t seen my family in quite a while, so I am REALLY looking forward to seeing them, and to have them cheer me on at the competition.
  • It is far too easy now to drink a gallon of water a day.
  • Dad is planning to book a room at the same hotel he stayed in for one of his Ironman races – he said it was really nice, reasonably priced, and near the metro (a rare combo in NYC!)
  • I plan to take a bus (or hitch a ride) from NY down to DC after competing and spend the week training with my Team Lloyd Irvin crew. I’ve got a lot to work on before Worlds next year!
  • The plan is to spend a week out of each month training at TLI in Maryland. While home in Nashville, I will be practicing whatever assignments I am given. If I can’t afford a plane ticket, an overnight bus ticket will do.
  • I’ve started a free weights training program – focusing on low rep, high weight, and explosive movements. Right now I’m using my own bodyweight loaded on the bar, but I want to work up to double my body weight.
  • The Asian Championships are about three months away. I would like to do feather weight this time around, but we shall see. I purchased the plane ticket in January when there was a fare sale that was too good to pass up.
  • After the NY Open in July, I will not likely be competing until the Asian Open – as I need to make sure I have all the rest of the expenses for that trip covered. I can make it on $600 (lodging, event registration, food, transportation), but would rather not have to be on a super tight budget for the entire two weeks in Japan.
  • I will be climbing Mt. Fuji – most likely the day after I arrive in Japan. I can’t really wait until later since climbing season ends a couple days after I arrive.

So yea, kind of random, but that is everything my brain is processing today.

The Challenge Is The Goal

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I taught myself to play classical piano pieces by skipping the early level primers and diving straight into the complex pieces that moved and inspired me to learn. My crowning achievement was to learn the entire, unabridged, Sonata Pathetique mv2 by Beethoven.

I learned this from memory, measure by measure, over the course of months. Months of spending 6+ hours a day plugging away at the keyboard. I exaggerate not. I was working a night shift at the time and would take a nap when I got home and then spent the entire afternoon and evening trying to conquer this one piece. People thought I had talent when they heard the results. My only real talent is my mile wide stubborn streak.

If I want to do something, I can guarantee that I will do it. It may take a while, but in the end, you will be fooled into thinking I have actual talent.

So yes, it is a setback that I once again failed to place at the Jiu Jitsu World Championships. I missed out on the podium by one match. However, I’m just on the first page of the Sonata. I’ve still got more movements, key changes, time signature changes… I haven’t even hit the “Forte” parts yet! This is just the intro, and I’m not quitting until the whole thing is complete.

Then, I’ll pick a whole new piece to learn.

Excited/Terrified: The Thin, Fine Line

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I just saw the bracket for my division at the World Championships.

It added a whole new layer of realness to the past year of training and sacrifices. It just suddenly hit me.

The World Championships are this week.

Yes, I’ve know all year what I have been preparing myself for – ever since I lost the quarter finals last year by an advantage point. I got back home with the focus to correct my mistakes and win this time around.

I realized when I saw that bracket, that the feeling in my gut has been the same since I first started competing. It has been something I fight to control – the nerves.

Competition Jitters

I had debilitating competition nerves for the first few years I competed. My heart would start racing and I would have to puke if I ever just THOUGHT about an upcoming event – weeks in advance!

There was a phase where I would just immerse myself in watching a new anime series or reading science textbooks (nerd alert!) in order to keep my mind off th upcoming competition. I would have to take (probably unsafe doses of) sleeping meds in order to get to sleep at night in the weeks leading up to an event. Let’s just say, it was bad.

Then I found that if I just acted like a goofball through the whole process, it would relieve my nerves. The right music at the right time became key as well. I could listen to southern gospel, Andrea Bocelli, Broadway musicals, marching cadences, rock, and motivational speeches – depending on if I needed to chill out or hype up.

Goofball could only take me so far though. 

At the end of last year, my coaches talked with one another and determined that I was too unfocused on my matches and needed to be more mentally present with the intent to win. 

The Balance

To me, the psychological effects of being nervous, are almost identical to being extremely excited. What makes the difference is my perspective and how I handle the feelings. 

Trying to not feel any nerves made me lose my focus and intensity. This year I have made the determination to not consider nerves to be a bad thing, but a necessary tool to keep me sharp. It has been paying off.

So bring on the World Championship! I will be fighting on mat 3 on Friday, the 50th match. I’ve never been more ready, and I am pumped!