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IBJJF Boston Open

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My family lives an hour from Boston and I decided that I would compete in the Boston Open so that my Mom, Dad, and sister would all finally get to see me compete!

I wasn’t sure how having them watching would affect me mentally. It could make me spazz out, or turn me into an absolute beast. Thankfully, it was the latter.

Weight Issues:
That was a pretty rough morning. I had a division of 12, set to start at 9:00. I brought a scale with me to the hotel and was fine that morning but got to the venue at 8:30 and discovered my scale was off by a lot… Meaning I had about 20-30 mins to cut just over 2 lbs.

I went to call my coach to ask him what I should do, only to discover my phone was missing. I was panicking on many levels. In the middle of this time, my family arrived and I told them I had to go cut weight and find my phone.

I gave myself a rather intense abdominal massage to help the colon do its thing, but that wasn’t enough. I determined I would have to puke as well. I nearly gave up then. At that point, my phone was found and I decided I was gonna make the weight if it killed me – if for no other reason, but for my family.

So I made it. Barely. But I made it.

Irony of ironies, my first opponent didn’t make weight.

Weight Division:
I was supposed to have 4 matches, but my first opponent was over weight by a pound.

There were about three other people who were DQed for not showing up. I heard that there was some confusion as to he location for some. Anyhow, my next opponent was one of those. Sooooo… Pass into the semis. Sucks, but at least I could make up the matches in the open!

My first match (would have been my 3rd!) she pulled guard and I went straight to my cut through, passed, stayed on top, and Won 16-0. She had great defense and I wasn’t able to finish her. I’ve been working a lot on control from the top and it paid off at this competition for sure!

My second match was the finals. She definitely had length on me. I ended up in her closed guard but couldn’t reach her arms to do the open/pass I had been drilling. She bump swept me to mount and got the sweep and mount points before I was able to escape to my own closed guard. I was able to break her posture and finish with a cross choke in the last 30 secs of the match.

So that gave me a gold medal in my division. I registered for the open then ran out with the family to get some food in my poor empty system.

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The Open:
My first match in the open was against a medium heavy weight (I think). I pulled guard when I felt comfortable, then went straight for the ankle lock for the tap about 30 secs in.

My second match was against another light weight – the only medalist I hadn’t fought yet. I did my snap takedown, got on top, smashed, and finished from the back with a loop choke variation.

My third match was the semi finals and I got to face off with a heavyweight. Let’s just say I got my just deserts for the crushing I was doing earlier. Ha! She had me crumpled up like a tissue and I couldn’t move worth a hill of beans. She won on points and consoled me with the information that I had frustrated her with my deep half guard sweep threats.

So that gave me a bronze in the Open. I take great pride in being the smallest person on the podium (I was wearing boots with two inch soles)

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In Summary:
Rachelle came to compete as well and she did amazing! She gets better every competition and got on the scoreboard this time! Pretty soon she will be tearing it up as well!

I went out for food with the (very impressed) family after my weight division. My Mom had to go lie down at the hotel for the rest of the day because she was in a lot of pain (fibromyalgia and arthritis). She doesn’t travel very well so it meant so much to me that she was able to come! My sister stayed with her but my dad came back to cheer me on in the Open.

I was asked to help out working at the podium for a few hours, so I directed traffic, answered questions, and handed out medals for a couple hours. They paid cash at this competition so my food budget was restored.

What’s Next?
I’m back to the grind this morning. The New York Open is this weekend and winning it will put me in the top three of my division – so I guess I had better win it!

I’m really excited because the guys at Raijin Fight Wear have been teasing me with a new item design that is top secret – and a surprise for me. I should get to see it soon and it feels like waiting for Christmas!

There are just about 7 weeks until the IBJJF World Championship, and I just can’t wait! Looks like I will be the only person from my school going, so I’m considering going to Philadelphia the week before so that I can train at the TAC Team headquarters school for a bit. We shall see!

In Summary…

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I’ve been neglecting my writing as of late because I’ve been focusing all of my energy on getting ready for Pan Ams. It’s officially one week away so I’m going to summarize what has gone on the last few weeks.

San Francisco Open

My flight left at 5 pm and was supposed to get in at 11:00 Saturday night, but my connecting flight got delayed at the gate for about 2 hours due to weather conditions. I finally got in just after 1 am and got picked up from the airport by a friend. Got to sleep from 2:00 am until 6:30 am because I had to be at the venue at 8:00 since I was working the event.

Honestly, I felt like poop about an hour in. I had been sick and not able to keep any food in my system for about 3 days – if it were a local tournament that I hadn’t already bought a plane ticket for, I probably would have pulled out of it. But hey, once I’ve put money on something – I’m gonna do it.

I had a division of six, needing three wins for gold.

My first match was a great fight! She pulled guard first so I got to work my passing game – which judging by the video needs some work. I made it past and got points, but it wasn’t pretty looking at all… Kind of like a fish flopping around out of the water really. I ended up winning by points, not able to finish the triangle I had her in before time was called.

My second opponent didn’t make weight so that put me into the finals.

That first match took my last bit of energy. I stepped off the mat and noticed my hands and feet were blotched purple. That’s the first time I’ve ever prayed for more recovery time than required. I got my wish since I had to wait for the other side of the bracket to finish up then give my opponent her appropriate wait time as well.

Finals match: I started off well. Up on points, but then made a mistake, and got triangled. So ended up with a silver in my division. I was actually fairly happy with that. I wanted to quit, but I didn’t. If I can do that well when feeling that bad, imagine how I’ll do at Pans when I’m healthy!

The Open:

I started feeling progressively worse during the course of the day, I think my b12 shot was wearing off, so I was very close to dropping out of the open. About 30 mins before, I thought to myself:

“I came all this way, and have put in my time for this. I can choose to push when I wanna quit, or I can trust in the training I have had up until this point to carry me.”

So yea, I did the open.

I can’t remember exactly how many of us there were, but I think we had 6-8. I won my first match against a very tall girl by straight ankle lock. I was pretty happy that I remembered a sweep my coach had shown me on Friday. I wasn’t able to finish it, but it gave me the ankle lock set up.

I kinda fell over after that match, but it was able to recover in time for my semi match. Great match and loved the battle! I lost in the end, but was still happy since I lost to a friend who went on to win gold. Bittersweet ya know.

Nashville NAGA (Jan 22)

I decided at the very last minute to compete at the Nashville NAGA. Coach told me to enter the expert division. I did the no gi division first and here is the video

There were only two of us in No Gi unfortunately. But I got my first belt!

I did have a different opponent for Gi, but she pulled out after my No Gi match. They moved me back down to the intermediate level with the rest of the blue belts for the Gi divisions. I got more tired than I’d like to admit, but I managed to pull off another gold.

We had 6 ladies competing from our school that day and brought home 5 golds, one silver, and one bronze. Shannon won double gold in the white belt fly weight Gi and No Gi divisions with 5 matches total. It was a good day!

Outro:

That’s the highlights for the last few weeks. I’ll probably crawl out of my meditative hole before Pans to post on my competition preparation – but might not. I really have to keep my mind clutter free right now.

A Mothers Perspective on Aspergers

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After reading my posts about My Aspergers, my mother wrote me an email response giving her perspective. It’s not really Jiu Jitsu related, but this is my blog and I can upload whatever I like here! Ha!

An Open Letter From My Mother

Looking back over 28 years, now knowing that you have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a lot of things now fit into place.  As a parent, you guilt yourself with questions like “how could I have not known” and “how could I have let my child down”; “how could I not notice their suffering”?  Back in those days, however, even though I was interested in different psychology issues and read a lot on the subject, including autism, it never even once occurred to me that there was something “wrong” with you in that regard.  You were our wonderful firstborn beautiful baby and you were perfect.

 Probably the first thing that stands out in my mind as something different from the norm was when you were about three years old.  We were at one of the Stoller Family Reunions at Lake Billy Chinook.  These annual gatherings had many, many children, since there was a big batch of “cousins” who all had children around the same time.  You wanted nothing to do with playing with the other children.  You preferred to go from adult to adult and talk one-on-one with them.  You especially loved spending time with your Uncle Don Sadler and would talk on a variety of subjects on a level much older than your years.  I also remember when you were four years old and in preschool that when I would take my time working in the co-op preschool, about 3 days a month, you never left my side.  I assumed that once you got used to the program you would gradually begin to play with the other kids, but that rarely happened.  Even after two years at the preschool you still would clamp to my side whenever I was working there.  When I wasn’t there, the teacher said you preferred to sit and read in the book corner or sometimes play by yourself.  We just thought that you were shy.  Since your brother was just behind you in age, I was a typical busy mom and didn’t really notice anything unusual.  We always considered you to be our beautiful, talented, extremely brilliant, somewhat quirky (in an affectionate way) and precious daughter.

 You excelled in school academics, but had trouble making friends.  By first and second grade you had a plethora of somatic illnesses that did concern me, as they did correspond to the school days; headaches, stomachaches, extreme bloody noses that were difficult to stop, to say the least.  You looked anemic very often.  Several times I took you to the doctor for blood work and a check-up.  After repeated tests and exams that were negative, they told me that they felt it was due to stress.  We did not know the reason for the stress, but since it related to school, we made the decision to homeschool.  I will say that we saw a reduction in those symptoms after that, although I get some criticism from both friends and family members who said I needed to “force you to learn to get along with other children”.  It was interesting to me that some of this advice came from people who HAD no children at that time!  You spent most of your time, when not schooling, in your bedroom reading, listening to music and/or involving yourself with your “critters”.  There was a wide variety, from frogs and lizards that you caught and fed crickets to, cats, dogs, gerbils, hamsters, your precious bunny, Oreo, guinea pigs, and chinchillas.  Chinchillas were your passion for several years.  You bred and sold them and they were a big part of your life.  Sunny, your first chinnie, was your special little buddy for some time.

 Interestingly, although you always had a fairly large “personal space bubble”, even as a teenager you would sit with me in church and spend most of the time leaning up against me.  Your lack of friends was always a concern and you never really bonded with your peers, but rather your animals were your best friends.  I think the other kids looked upon you as an oddity and they didn’t know what to do with you.  When they got a little older and more tolerant and tried to make friendly overtures to you, you would not accept them and would withdraw.

 Understand, that at this time no red flags went off.  Yes, you stayed in your room a lot with books, but so did I when I was a teenager.  Your dad also didn’t have a lot of friends growing up–he was too busy–so neither of us thought that this behavior was anything other than a personality trait.  It was concerning that you had a hard time balancing interests, although it is something that was less obvious when you were very young and is more prominent now.  When you took up martial arts, you would practice the form every day for hours.  You were very focused….but, your dad also had that trait, so we didn’t really think much of it at the time.  What became interesting and concerning to me as you grew older was that I noticed more that you focused on only one thing at a time and put all your time and energy into it.  When it was the chinchillas, you knew everything about them.  When it was the martial arts, you went at it full steam.  Then it was Bible college and music.  You had never taken piano lessons until college, but now you can play awesomely.  You also took voice lessons.  During your music phase you played, composed, sang, recorded and had lots of wonderful memories.  It is sad to me that as you moved through each of these phases, you would end one when you started another.  I was worried that you couldn’t find balance in your life and that still is something I know you work on.  It is sad to know that you once spent 3-4 (or more) hours a day practicing piano and now you rarely play and want to sell (or have already sold) your keyboard.  You left chinchillas behind you long ago.  As a parent, I would have liked to see you continue with the things that gave you so much pleasure, but in more balanced doses, but that may be something that takes a lifetime for you to do.

 Of course, now you have BJJ and just like your other interests, you give this one 150% of your time, focus and energy.  It shows, of course, in how well you have done and how you have progressed.  This worries me, of course, because I don’t want you to get hurt, especially with the line of work you are in, but you are an adult and I have to trust you to know your own limits and take care of yourself.

 Looking back, now, I sure wish we had known them what we know now about Aspergers.  I feel guilty that I couldn’t give you the tools you needed to help you cope better during that time.  Do I wish you didn’t HAVE Aspergers?  That is a trick question—of course every parent wants their children to not have to suffer or go through difficult times.  We want to make it all better.  However, I realize that this is who you are.  If you didn’t have this disorder, you would not be YOU.  Of course we would love you, but you would be a different person and I can’t imagine you as anyone other than Nicholle, yourself.

 Most of all, I am happy that you finally got peace with this diagnosis because then the world started making sense to you and things became clear.  I’m sure it still is a challenge, but you know and understand the WHY that is your thought and sensory processes, and that clarity helps bring order to chaos.

In Closing:

Thank you Mom for sharing! It means a lot to me, and just maybe it will help someone else as well!

How Good Could I Be?

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Note: I find the best way to work through something is to write it out. By the time I’m done writing, I’m feeling back to normal again. So here is one of those type of writings…

I get very frustrated trying to train for competitions, being the highest ranked girl at my gym (and a smaller girl at that). If someone is left sitting out on the side of the mats, it’s usually me or one of the other girls.

I don’t mind this when I’m not trying to prepare for an event, but when I’ve got a goal in mind, and I have to sit out because no one will make eye contact with me when it’s time to change partners… it’s really disheartening.

How Good Could I Be…

How good I could be if I was able to roll every round like the guys do?

How good could I be if I didn’t feel like every time I did get to roll, that someone was doing me a favor?

How good could I be if everyone would roll with me instead of just sitting on top of me until time is called?

How good could I be if I had a good training partner I could go toe to toe with and sharpen my skills against?

How good could I be if I got to go beyond just working defense on someone?

How good could I be if I actually got to finish subs instead of having them wrenched out of my properly placed hands?

How good could I be if I didn’t have to worry about my opponent getting more quality mat time in than I do?

How good could I be?

Seriously, I’d be awesome!

We all have the things we have to deal with when getting ready for my competitions. The point is, we all have to take what we have and make the most of it.

My frustrations become magnified when I’m training intensely. My brain works in efficiency mode pretty much non-stop, so when I get stalled, it really messes up my gears.

I’m trying to learn to shift gears.

If I have to sit a round, I take note and watch two of our upper level belts roll with one another. I study little things like the placement of their feet, how the hold their weight, a minor shift of a hand grip… and of course, the random cartwheel guard passes!

I am the one in charge of my response to my challenges. I’ll admit, some days I sulk in my office after practice. My coach has patiently listened to me rant at least once before each competition (it has become a tradition about 10 days before every tournament).

In the end, I pick myself up and get back at it. What other option is there? Quit? Ha! In the end, I push through the frustration and come out stronger and better on the other side. It’s just a part of the growing pains.

I will not let frustrations become excuses. Instead, I’m gonna use them as fuel.

So…

So I don’t have everything perfect?

So I have to count pennies to make tournament fees?

So I have to work a few extra hours?

So I have to push myself through circuits until I throw up?

So I have to wake up an hour earlier to get my conditioning in before anyone else shows up?

So I have to say no to distractions?

So I have to focus to the point where some people think I’ve lost it?

Yea… that’s the way it’s gonna be. In the end, I want to know that I’ve done the best that I can with what I have in my hands. It’s very rare few who have an “ideal” situation. If that is you, you had better be busting your butt, or I’m gonna bust it for you when I meet you on the mats.

And that, my friend, is a promise.

Jiu Jitsu and Aspergers pt 2 – It Fits

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Wow!

I really wasn’t expecting such a huge response from part 1! I thought a few of my friends might read it and find it interesting. Let’s just say the last week has been a bit overwhelming. Thank you everyone!

My parents read it as well, and I guess I just took for granted that they should understand me. My Mom said she wished I had written that out years ago for them and she is currently composing an article on what it was like raising an undiagnosed spectrum child. I’m quite interested to learn her perspective!

All right, that said, on to part 2. If you haven’t already, check out part 1.

Human Contact

My biggest challenge when starting Jiu Jitsu, was my sensitivity to human contact. I don’t really even know why, but I’ve always been very aware of my personal “bubble” and would cringe and flinch away if someone else initiated contact. It’s weird I know. I love hugs, but have to be the one initiating them. I don’t know how to describe it other than it mentally hurts me and almost feels physically painful if someone else initiates contact.

Somehow, Jiu Jitsu has actually helped to reduce this sensitivity and I think it is the fact that BJJ gives me a flow chart of movements to follow. I’ve learned that for every action my opponent makes, I have at least two options that I can respond with. I don’t have to freak out because I know the appropriate response in a format that I understand.

This has helped me relax a lot with human contact even outside of the gym. I still have my off days but, for the most part, I don’t tend to jump when someone decides to spontaneously hug me.

Social Skills

This is another biggie. I’m blessed to have lived in Nashville for going on seven years now and have been surrounded by amazing people who love me. I make a social “boo boo” and they usually just shrug and say “well, that’s just Nicholle” and move on. (Shout out to my amazing friends!)

Still, I have never felt like I was able to really meld myself into a social group. I mentally knew I was included and accepted, but never really could fit. Believe me, that has been the source of many tears over the years!

The combination of my conversational deficits and inability to read (or speak) non-verbal language, partnered with my one track mind really doesn’t make for a good party conversationalist. I have to choose between not speaking at all (appearing shy); or letting my one track, non-graceful thought train loose on the world (appearing arrogant or stuck-up). Given the choice, I prefer the first option. I’m not shy, but must appear so in order to keep my slip ups to a minimum.

Enter Jiu Jitsu!

When I got into Jiu Jitsu, I found myself surrounded by a community of people who didn’t find it odd that I wanted to talk about “bio-mechanics behind the proper placement of feet for the most energy efficient results when doing a tripod sweep”. In the past, I would discover an amazing concept, share it with someone, and be met with just a blank stare. Now, I am greeted with enthusiasm, and usually an exchange of even more cool information!

Oh wow! So this is what a real conversation is like! It is a lot easier when I am surrounded by people who are just as obsessed as I am. It makes me feel normal and accepted.

This helps me out immensely because I get to practice having actual real conversations with people! Since I started training, I have been getting better at holding conversations outside of the gym as well. Practice makes perfect!

No luck improving my non-verbal communication skills so far and I’m kind of giving up on the whole idea. Instead, I have started letting people know when I meet them that I take things literally and at face value. This foreknowledge helps to clear up misunderstandings much more easily.

Sensory Overload

Big competitions are interesting. I find the best thing I can do to keep from being overstimulated is to work at the competitions. If I have something to focus on, I am able to block out all the excess sensory input. I particularly enjoy working as a Ring Coordinator for IBJJF competitions. I love to set things in order and that job requires a huge amount of organization skills to make everything run perfectly. Good fit no?

If I’m at a tournament and am not working, I will be cheering on a team mate (or anyone I know). Without an “assignment” I’m usually wandering around like a lost puppy trying to find some task to do. It’s impossible for me to relax in such a busy environment, so I opt for distraction. Headphones and a book is my favorite combination.

Patterns!!!

About a week after 2013 Worlds, right before I got my blue belt, I had one of those “ah ha!” moments. Suddenly, I saw the moves I had been learning and practicing for the previous year in a whole new light.

Everything has a pattern. I remember arguing with my Dad that there is no possible way that a computer program can do something randomly – there is always a formula that the computer uses (aka: a pattern), and that formula is concrete, so it can’t produce something that is random.

Rabbit trail aside: I’ve started to see the pattern of Jiu Jitsu. I don’t understand it all yet, but I can see it when I roll and little bits and pieces are coming together. This really excites me!

The Journey

I started Jiu Jitsu because I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted a physical activity with a goal in mind – but I’ve always been horrible at sports. In P.E. I was always the last kid picked, even after kids half my size. I had enjoyed TKD as a child however and decided I would go the martial arts route. So glad I did!!!

My coach, Shawn Hammonds, is amazing! I have never had a coach or a team before, and that is really what initially got me hooked and kept me coming back. They challenge me in a way that I have never experienced before, and I like it. I’d always craved someone to push me just a little bit harder, instead of being satisfied with what I had already done. I don’t think that’s a trait of Aspergers – maybe there is more to my personality than just that eh?

One of my favorite things, is that I’m allowed to have a bad day around my team. I can totally break down, freak out… whatever. They just shrug and it’s back to normal the next day. I don’t have to stress over being perfect and always on guard like I used to always be – except for when sitting on the side of the mat after class… you never know when someone is going to randomly jump on your back while you’re just chilling!

Less than a year into training, I expanded my team and added Raijin Fight Wear to my corner. It was a chance meeting on Twitter for which I am so thankful! I was amazed that a company would want to sponsor me, as a white belt, before I had even competed internationally! We exchanged messages and they told me that they loved my enthusiasm and would love to have me representing them. They have been cheered me on and encouraged me all through 2013 and then signed me on again for 2014. They are a quality company that matches my “strive for excellence” personality well and I plan to represent them all the way to the black belt podium and beyond!

My team has gone through a lot of transition in the last year. I may write some about it later, but that would be a monster of a rabbit trail right now…

What Now?

I’ve decided that there is just too much to say about this topic to fit it into one or two posts – so I’m going to make it a series that I’ll add to a little bit every Saturday. The rest of the week I’ll be doing my regular updates and random ramblings. If anyone has any questions about anything I talk about, please don’t hesitate to ask me. I can’t guarantee that I’ll know the answer, but I will do my best to find one!

Jiu Jitsu and Aspergers pt 1 – My Aspergers

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This is a post I’ve had in my brain for quite a while, debating on if I should share, and decided to just go for it. Hopefully it ends up making sense! In this first post, I’m just gonna go over what my Aspergers is like. In my next post, I will be explaining how this affects my Jiu Jitsu, and how BJJ has helped me.

Five years ago, I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Aspergers is an Autism Spectrum Disorder – I’ve heard some people describe it as “high functioning Autism”

So what does that mean for me? Well, each person is a unique case, so I’ll run the risk of megalomania, and just tell you about me.

Sensory Processing

First off, I’m hypersensitive to sensory input. I adore music, but can’t handle most concerts because of the combination of light, sound, movement, etc just puts me into overdrive and I end up going “space cadet” – I don’t really know how to describe it other than that, I just shut down to barely functional levels. It was really bad once and I had to be led out of a building in a semi-catatonic state – Scared a friend of mine pretty badly!

Stimming

Now I do have a way around this. It’s called Sterotypy, or “stimming”. When I was a kid, I would get stressed and start very slightly rocking my upper body in a circular motion. My Mom thought it was because I was dizzy (and even took me to a doctor for vertigo) – sorry Mom, I just didn’t know how to explain it at the time. I wasn’t dizzy; it just made me feel better to do it. The repetitive motion seemed to numb me enough that I could keep myself together – I felt like I would fly apart at the seams otherwise.

As I have gotten older, I have learned how to stim without it being so noticable. I can put my hand in a pocket and flip a coin, touch my thumb and fingers together, etc. Usually I’ll get a far away look on my face, and people assume I’m thinking deep thoughts. I’m not – my mind is actually blank at that point.

Patterns

I absolutely ADORE patterns. Once I find the pattern in something, I quickly excel at it. I love playing classical piano, and can sit there for hours just lost in Mozart and Beethoven. I also love drawing (see some of my artwork here), and organizing things.

Yes, I do have that compusion to organize things. My closet is a perfect rainbow of color, and my books are divided by category and then alphabetized by author last name. Oddly enough, there are some things I obsess over organizing, and other things that I couldn’t care less about – not sure what that’s all about…

Obsessions

I always have one thing – maybe two – that I am interested in. Always. And I learn everything about it. I’ve been obsessed with bugs, with mud, with animals… I raised chinchillas for several years. As a 12 year old child, I could sit down and show you detailed genetic information about each chinchilla and their possible offspring.

Whatever I’m focused on, it gets 150% of my attention – neglecting everything else. It’s all I can think about and talk about. I have gotten much better about trying to spread out my conversation topics – since not everyone wants a 45 minute monologue about anything, much less the newest particle physics discovery. Also, I make sure I pause every 10-15 seconds while talking to allow the other person to respond. Practice has made this work a lot more smoothly for me – but sometimes when I get excited I just keep talking. I don’t take offense to someone telling me to shut up for a min – so if I ever do this, just stick a hand up and call for a break.

Social Cues

Here’s where I stumble the most. I am absolutely hopeless when it comes to social cues. Reading facial expressions, vocal tone, body language… it’s a nightmare of misunderstandings for me. I’m sure I’ll get it some day, but I have to rely on what people say, since if I try to read non-verbal language cues, I usually make gross errors.

On the other side of that coin, I don’t know how to use proper facial expressions/etc. I have gotten a bit better, but as a child I was typically stone-faced and “unreadable” to most everyone. Even now, I watch my videos and I feel something is “off” but i don’t know what it is. I still have problems with eye contact as well – I fake it most of the time.

Social Flow Charts

Believe it or not, my brain operates a lot like this. I have very complex social flow charts in my head that script most of my social interactions. This doesn’t mean that what I say isn’t sincere! I just can’t figure out on the fly out to correctly say what I intend.

And yes, when I lose my filter, Sheldon = Me.

MORE Social Stuff

Right now what I’m focusing on is trying to have actual conversations with people. The normal conversation goes back and forth, as the topics change and meander around. This problem, for me, goes back to my script. If someone brings up something that I don’t know an appropriate response to, I panic. This usually then results in either me blurting out something completely ridiculous (mental short circuit), or trying to re-direct the topic back to familiar territory.

I’m starting to get the hang of asking questions instead of just diving off the conversation ship. The problem with questions, is that it takes me off script and that is where I tend to make more social mistakes (and trust me, some of them have been horrendous!) Thankfully, I am currently surrounded by people who, for the most part, shrug off my mistakes and just move on. So in that safety, I am slowly growing and learning!

Frustration

All of this put together made for a very frustrated individual. I thought I was an idiot for not being able to fit in and be part of the group like everyone else. I may not have known how to express emotions properly, but I still felt them. I felt trapped inside my body and just didn’t know how to get out, or ask for help.

I’ve adapted quite a bit  in the last several years. People who know me as an adult are usually quite surprised when they learn I have Aspergers. Those who knew me as a child tend to nod and say “well that makes a lot of sense…”

If there were a cure, I wouldn’t want it. I love how my brain works. Sure, I can be a bull in a china shop at times where social graces are concerned – but I have learned to cover fairly well in the last several years. Jiu Jitsu is one of the things that has really helped me a lot in that regards, and I will expound on that in part two of this post.

Click Here for Part 2!

Sean Roberts Seminar

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With Sean Roberts and Fiance, Elizabeth Ruiz

Yesterday we had an awesome seminar with Sean Roberts at our school. I wish more people had shown up, but they missed it and those of use that were there will be “giggling” the lazy bums to death!

Coach wasn’t able to be here, as he had a seminar to teach in Missouri friday night, and then cornered one of our guys, Ben Brewer, last night on v3Fights in Memphis (he won of course!) But we did have 3 of our other black belts attend, so yay for that!

Sean is on a cross country road trip teaching as he goes. Check out his facebook page to see if he will be near you! I highly recommend!

He surprised us by popping in Friday night to train, and I got a roll in. Love his open guard and half guard – someone for me to study further!

Circuit Training Motivation

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Well I had a great time this morning with my good friend known only as “The Circuit”. I look pretty beat in this picture, but this was actually my less exhausted take. I looked so dramatic in the other ones that they appeared fake!

I did 5 rounds of a 6 minute circuit with a 2 minute rest in between each. This circuit included burpees, prison walks, tire pushups, overhead weighted squats, etc. By the end, I managed to punch out just over 100 burpees!

Halfway through the 4th round, my quads started trying to give out on me. I’m definitely going to feel it in the morning. Shoot, I feel it now!

I’m really focusing on my conditioning for the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Pan Ams. Last year I got gassed in the finals, and lost by an advantage. I don’t want that to happen again! I want to go, knowing that I am in the best shape of my life and can trust in the techniques that I drill for hours a day. If that’s not good enough, at least I know I gave it the best that I have to give now. I have no qualms loosing to a superior opponent, but I refuse to lose because I didn’t prepare like I should have.

I found this amazing motivational cd on itunes by “Muscle Prodigy TV” entitled “It’s All On You” – I think it is going to be my new favorite thing to listen to in the mornings. Shoot, I even had it set as my alarm on my ipad! I highly recommend it – you can purchase it on iTunes for just under $10. Best money I’ve ever spent on a digital item before. I listened to it through my circuit, and it kept me pumped up and focused!

It’s a collection of inspirational speeches, with dramatic background music. That’s the kind of thing that gets me going – I’m curious what sort of music/soundtracks get you going! Please comment below!

Sunday Fun Day

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Finally wrapping up an immensely full day!

Did circuit training this morning and it was a blast! It used to be just myself and Ruth, but a few of the other ladies have started joining in on the action.

Here’s the video we made today. I edited it down a bit, but it was a 6 minute circuit repeated 3 times. Coach wants us working up to 5 rounds with a one minute rest.

I’ve come to the determination after watching myself on film that I some odd speech mannerisms. I’m totally gonna rock it though!

I’m going to talk with coach tomorrow about creating a time slot for this circuit training other than just on Sunday. Maybe Tuesday and Thursday evenings methinks?

Video Shoot
We did filming after circuits for the upcoming “Move of The Week” video series. Now just gotta wait for the intro to be completed so I can get that rolling!

And Now For Something Completely Different…
I spent the rest of the day designing a webpage for a local business. I got it all done and they were quite thrilled with it, and I get paid tomorrow! Yayness!

Grocery Shopping
I’m not cutting weight anymore, but can’t bring myself to junk out. I just stocked up on poultry, eggs, and some açai bowl fixings. On that note I close this blog post. My blender is calling!

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Circuits, Weight Classes, and… Mexico?

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Well I introduced the ladies in my Saturday morning class to circuit training today! We started off with just a three minute circuit with three minutes to recover in between – we will eventually work it up to a five minute circuit with a minute rest in between.

Today we drilled loop chokes from half guard. Our position this week has been guard, but one of my ladies has sore ribs and a bum wrist – so we worked around it!

Mexico City Training Camp:

I just registered for a training camp in Mexico City with Mackenzie Dern and Sophia Drysdale. It will be at the end of July, and I am EXTREMELY excited for it already! Get your registration in now to reserve a spot!

Ladies Jiu Jitsu Training Camp

Weight Classes:

In other news, I talked with my coach yesterday about my weight cut. He decided he wants me to stick with light weight instead of continuing my drop to feather weight. Not gonna lie, I’m kind of happy about that!

Size wise, I fit in the feather division better. Problem being, my doc says I have very dense muscle, so I weigh a lot more than I look. I’d have to lose a substantial amount of muscle to make featherweight, and that isn’t safe for me because of my hypermobility.

Meaning: I’m currently 132, so coach wants me back up to 137-138. I’m not just gonna fluff up though. I’m sticking with eating really clean, upping my caloric intake, and adding more strength training into my routine. I will confess, I’m going out for Italian food tomorrow for dinner with friends – but i’ll burn through that in no time flat!

See what Tournaments I’ll be at next! I love to meet people!