Thoughts From the Bunker

I have elected thus far to not share much over the past couple of months. There is enough talk going on around about world events and I dislike redundancy. After a few dark bouts of anger, frustration, and ugly crying – I think I have finally reached acceptance of the current flux of affairs. So here are some thoughts.

I do not know what will happen.

I do not know if my family and friends will be okay.

I do not know when I can resume concrete planning for the future.

I do not know how this will affect the world around me.

I do not know how this will affect the timetable for earning my black belt.

I do not know what this will do do my massage business – which I finally got up and running consistently.

I do not know if my bjj ladies group will come back to class or not.

I do not know who I am without my training and my work.

I do not know when I can train again without being judged for doing so.

 

I do not have to know. Trying to figure everything out right now is an exercise in futility. Information becomes outdated almost as soon as I hear it, if it was accurate from the start. So I decided to focus on what I can do in my current situation.

I can take things one day at a time.

I can conserve funds as much as possible with the purpose of rebuilding my business.

I can rediscover old past-times such as baking, gardening, and drawing.

I can train every day with the grappling dummy, and a couple times a week with my quarantine buddy.

I can focus on mobility work.

I can call my parents or grandma every day.

I can sit and breathe – just enjoy each moment. I have been so “go go go” for the past several years that this is probably good for me.

I can focus more time on improving my Japanese and start back up on Spanish.

I can be in  safe place, thanks to good people that I have in my life.

 

My current situation is thus:

Almost two months ago a friend in Owensboro, Kentucky invited me to come up and be her quarantine buddy. She enticed me with promises of an extra room, stocked pantry, and training mats. I told her I would “keep it in mind”.

That weekend I was notified that Nashville was shutting down non-essential businesses (me). Upon hearing that, my last massage client of the day offered to drive me the two hours to Owensboro. I made a split second decision to take her up on that! She refused to take back the payment for her massage, but I at least was able to pay for her gas and coffee. There are amazing people out there!

I got into Owensboro on March 22nd and have been here now for six weeks. My friend is still working; so I try to keep the house clean, bake cookies, and be a good little quarantine wife. I check in with my Jiu Jitsu coach every couple of days to keep him updated on what I am doing as far as my training goes.

I don’t know how long I will be here – but I think I will wait until at least a couple of weeks after Nashville says massage establishments can re-open. I don’t want to get back home only to have them shut us down again after they get the new numbers in.

I have been filming a few technique and self-care videos – so if anyone has any requests please feel free to send me a message on my Instagram! Stay safe!

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